13 April 2019 | Article de blogue

Boundaries and privacy

When you talk about privacy, you can recognize various kinds of interpersonal relationships, identify personal space (boundaries), and learn how to ask for those boundaries to be respected. This also gives adults the opportunity to reframe some of their child’s various sexual behaviours.

Hugs

Explain to your child that some kids like to be hugged or tickled; others don’t.

Remind them that:

Some days, we might not want to be hugged or touched by other people, and it’s okay to say it, so that they leave us alone.
There are some people whom we don’t want to hug or kiss, and it’s okay to refuse to come near them, even if they ask us often.

Invite them to name the people they like to hug and the times when they would prefer to have their boundaries respected.

Ask them:

Did you know that it’s important to always ask people if they want a hug before giving them one? Did you know that if the person says no, it’s not because they don’t like you, but just because they need their space?
It’s important to listen when someone says no. We call this respecting someone’s boundaries. Boundaries mean the space that you need around you in order to feel good. Your personal space can be big or small, it depends on each person.

Privacy

Ask your child:

Did you know that you always have to knock on the door or ask if you can come in before you go into the bathroom, the bedroom or anywhere else someone is changing their clothes?
These places are private, so it’s important to wait for the person to say yes before entering.

A private space is a space where you can be by yourself, with nobody else with you. Waiting before you enter a private space is called “respecting privacy.”

Explain to the child that they can always ask to be left alone when they are getting changed or going to the bathroom, and that nobody gets to see their private parts or their underwear.

Milo’s Boundaries

Milo’s Boundaries aims to help children understand interpersonal and intimate boundaries through Miro’s story. One day, everyone Miro meets wants to give him a cuddle, a kiss or a hug. He doesn’t want them but he doesn’t know how to say it.

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Explain to your child how to self-affirm.

The importance of self-affirming

Learning to self-affirm can help you get others to respect you and respect your boundaries.

What does “self-affirming” mean?

Self-affirming means being able to tell other people what you like and what you don’t. It also means deciding what you want and don’t want. Self-affirming means asking others to respect us. For some kids, that’s easy; for others, it’s not.