8 January 2021 | Article de blogue

Learning to protect yourself online

When risks related to technology use are brought up, many teenagers believe that this phenomenon does not apply to them. This article details how you can help improve your teen’s safety skills, specifically by bringing them to recognize manipulation tactics

People with malicious intent often resort to the various techniques detailed below to cultivate a relationship and eventually commit an offence of a sexual nature, such as obtaining intimate photographs.

Tactic	What it looks like	Why it works
Flattery or gifts	The person with malicious intent flatters the other or offers them gifts.	Generally, gifts and compliments are marks of kindness that help build trust. They fulfill the need to feel loved and accepted by others. Gifts make us feel indebted.
Arousing pity	The person with ill intentions puts themselves down or talks of unhappy or sad experiences they’ve had.	Sad stories draw attention and foster empathy. They spark a desire to raise the other’s spirits and make them feel better through various favours.
Sharing sexually explicit material	The person with malicious intent shares intimate images first and asks for some in return.	Sharing images is trivialized and can seem easy. Receiving images makes us feel indebted.
Insistence	The person with ill intentions makes repeated demands and insists regardless of the other’s refusals.	Feeling caught up in an overly intrusive situation may lead a person to give in, hoping to put a stop to the entire ordeal. In time, repetition trivializes the requests and they become increasingly normal.
Threats	The person with malicious intent attempts to scare and details negative consequences should the other refuse to do as requested.	Fear is a powerful emotion. The person being threatened may feel forced to act against their will to avoid negative consequences.

When risks related to technology use are brought up, many teenagers believe that this phenomenon does not apply to them. This article details how you can help improve your teen’s safety skills, specifically by bringing them to recognize manipulation tactics

Tactic	What it looks like	Why it works
Flattery or gifts	The person with malicious intent flatters the other or offers them gifts.	Generally, gifts and compliments are marks of kindness that help build trust. They fulfill the need to feel loved and accepted by others. Gifts make us feel indebted.
Arousing pity	The person with ill intentions puts themselves down or talks of unhappy or sad experiences they’ve had.	Sad stories draw attention and foster empathy. They spark a desire to raise the other’s spirits and make them feel better through various favours.
Sharing sexually explicit material	The person with malicious intent shares intimate images first and asks for some in return.	Sharing images is trivialized and can seem easy. Receiving images makes us feel indebted.
Insistence	The person with ill intentions makes repeated demands and insists regardless of the other’s refusals.	Feeling caught up in an overly intrusive situation may lead a person to give in, hoping to put a stop to the entire ordeal. In time, repetition trivializes the requests and they become increasingly normal.
Threats	The person with malicious intent attempts to scare and details negative consequences should the other refuse to do as requested.	Fear is a powerful emotion. The person being threatened may feel forced to act against their will to avoid negative consequences.

Manipulative tactics

La tactique	Sa forme	Pourquoi ça fonctionne?
Flatterie ou cadeaux	La personne malintentionnée fait des compliments ou offre des cadeaux.	Les cadeaux et les compliments sont généralement des marques de gentillesse qui inspirent confiance. Ils répondent au besoin de se sentir aimé·e et accepté·e des autres et font se sentir redevables.
Faire pitié	La personne malintentionnée se dénigre ou parle des expériences malheureuses ou tristes qu’elle a vécues.	Les histoires tristes attirent l’attention et suscitent l’empathie. Elles suscitent l’envie de remonter le moral et de faire plaisir à l’autre en lui accordant des faveurs.
Partage de matériel sexuellement explicite	La personne malintentionnée partage des images intimes en premier et en demande en retour.	Le partage d’images est banalisé et peut sembler facile. Les images reçues font se sentir redevables.
Insistance	La personne malintentionnée fait des demandes répétées et insiste malgré les refus.	Elle suscite un sentiment d’envahissement qui peut amener la personne harcelée à céder aux demandes pour qu’elles cessent. La répétition banalise la demande qui semble de plus en plus normale.
Menaces	La personne malintentionnée tente de faire peur et de présenter des conséquences négatives si l’autre ne fait pas ce qui est demandé.	La peur est une émotion puissante. La personne menacée peut se sentir forcée d’agir contre son gré pour éviter des conséquences négatives.

What to do when this happens

If any of these tactics are used during a conversation or when an online chat makes us feel uncomfortable, beware. They are both big red flags. Simply feeling uneasy is enough to act to protect ourselves. In certain cases, when someone we know is involved for instance, the accumulation of red flags is what may trigger a need to do something. Here are a few things you could do.

Cut off all contacts

Stop talking to the person, don’t answer when they reach out.

Block the person in the app or game.

Report the person using the apps’ reporting function.

Adjust your privacy settings and set your account in private mode.

Change e-mails or accounts on the apps you use.

Tell a trusted adult about this behaviour

Talk about what is happening to a parent, a family member (adult), a teacher or some other adult you look up to.
Ask for some help to put an end to the situation.
Get support and comfort.

*A trusted adult is an adult the teen feels comfortable with: someone who listens, always acknowledges their feelings and is there to help when needed.

Collect evidence so you can file a complaint with the police

Take screenshots.

Keep a copy of the messages.

Take down the date and content of the messages, particularly of any negative interactions like threats or manipulation, if conversations have disappeared.

What now?

This overview of tactics often used by individuals with malicious intent helps to better prepare your teen for any online sexual violence situation which may occur. To read more about popular applications and games among young people, ways to address certain situations or tools to better guide your teen, check out our other articles.

Popular applications among teenagers